Lately I ‘ve been hearing a lot about people’s claims that President Obama is a Muslim in disguise, despite his protestations to the contrary. An August 19, 2010 report by the Pew Research Center concludes that 18% of Americans believe that Pres. Obama is a Muslim. Fox “News,” Tea Party members and right-wingers in general are doing their fair part to ensure that the most gullible of our fellow countrymen and women live in abject fear of an Islamic take-over of the USA, and that unless we get rid of the terrorist in the White House, we are looking down the wrong end of the barrel at the end of a free America.
It is hard to believe that people can be such nincompoops. Anyone can see that the current POTUS is Irish!
To preface my discussion, it must be known that I have thoroughly researched this subject in a scholarly and erudite manner. I have delved into that infallibly academic source, Wikipedia; I have scoured Google for true unfiltered images of our president in action; I have even searched videos on that bastion of truth, YouTube. After considering all the evidence I agree with and drawing from my own narrow-minded point of view, I have thus concluded that President “Obama” is Irish.
To clarify one point, “Irish” and “Muslim” are not necessarily mutually exclusive. As in many parts of the world, there are certainly people in Ireland today, native Irish or not, that were either born Muslim, or have reverted, as Muslims like to say, to Islam. Frankly if one sixth of the world population professes Islam, then it follows that there must be at least one or two families of Muslims in the Republic of Ireland.
We arrive now to my point that the President is Irish, by using the same stream of logic that leaves nearly 1 in 5 Americans actually believing that B. H. Obama is a Muslim.
Let’s start with his name:
- Barack: ‘Barack” sounds a bit like ‘brick’, a tool of the building trade with which the Irish in the 18th and 19th centuries were largely responsible for using to erect many of the great edifices of the American east coast.
- Hussein: The letter ‘s’ when followed by an ‘e’ Irish is pronounced, sh. (The English spelling doubles the ‘s’ in order to ensure that it is not pronounced like zz, as would be a tendency for American speakers of English.) In Irish, the ‘h’ sound in words is dropped, or aspirated, leaving us with ‘Ushayn’, which through the natural evolution of language could become any number of words including, for example, O’Shaughnessy.
- Obama: If the Irish-ness of his first and middle names is not obvious to the casual reader, the president’s last name should clinch it. During a March 17, 2010 luncheon with the Irish Republic’s prime minister, Brian Cowen, the president said of his surname, “I used to put the apostrophe after the “O” but that did not work.” He did not elaborate on why it didn’t work, but I believe it is that, in the Irish language, the character is Ô, and that takes too long to type when you are going for 70 wpm. And if I believe it, then it must be true.
Now we come to O’Bama’s physical features. The picture on the left shows Pres. O’Bama. The picture on the right shows another well-known Irish citizen, Bono. The resemblance of the of the two men to each other is uncanny. (The president’s resemblance to Dilbert will be discussed in a future article.)
Finally, a discussion of O’Bama’s historical connection to the Irish struggle for freedom. Cornelius “Conn” Colbert was a hero and martyr of the Easter Rising, in which a 1916 rebellion by Irish republicans was the catalyst of a struggle which eventually led to the creation of the Republic of Ireland. “Colbert” is also the surname of the American TV host, Stephen Colbert, although the latter uses the French pronunciation of “Coal-BARE.” Nevertheless, the two names are spelled the same. (Stay with me here; this is going somewhere.) On October 30, 2008 Stephen Colbert publicly endorsed Barack O’Bama on The Daily Show.
Therefore, Brick O’Shaughnessy O’Bama is unmistakably and doubtlessly Irish.
